Smorgasbord Sundays: Father’s Day 2014

Daddy PhotoMy father is the best man that I have ever known.

Today’s Father’s Day, and it’s a yearly reminder of how amazing he was and how much I miss him. My mother and I will be visiting him at the cemetery later today.

There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about and miss my dad. So today is especially difficult.

He passed away in early 2010, just days after I turned 28. (I blogged about it here and here.)

Although I always cry on Father’s Day, I don’t want this to be a pity party. I want to take this opportunity to share with the world a glimpse into a moment I shared with my dad.

Note: The photo above is a picture of my dad when he was in his 30s.

I remember that when I was maybe 9 or 10, my dad and I went to the park. It was the summer, and the weather was perfect – sunny and warm with a slight breeze. We sat on a bench, and I was enjoying a Popsicle. There was a large tree in front of us, and the wind was making the thousands of leaves rustle like they were doing a melodic dance.

Life, as I knew it, was blissful.

My dad turned to me and said something like, “Years from now, when you’re older, you’ll remember this moment that you spent with your dad. You’ll remember that we were looking at that tree on a summer day, and you were eating an orange Popsicle.”

When I was in my twenties, I told my dad that I always remembered that moment and what he said. He was surprised and clearly happy!

Now that I’m in my thirties, I still remember that moment as clear as day. Although it’s nothing outrageous, it’s one of the many memories that I often replay in my mind to make myself smile.

He was right. (Haha, he used to always semi-joke that “Fathers know best!”)

Although it was nothing extraordinary, that’s one of the memories with my dad that I cherish like a prized possession. I was so young and carefree. And life was good.

The vast majority of my friends still have their fathers, and I’ll admit that I’m jealous. Whenever I see a father and child together in public, I feel a lump in my throat when I try to swallow. They are so fortunate, and it makes me miss my dad even more.

Some guys in my life share small similarities with my dad, such as merely liking the same music from the 50s and 60s. But my father was more than just the things he liked. The unconditional love that he showed me through the years, his ability to find humour in even the darkest situations, and his comforting presence are simply unparalleled.

To this day, I have never met any man who is even remotely on par with my dad. And it makes me appreciate what I had even more. Not everyone is as blessed to have experienced such a loving father. Some people have terrible childhoods full of pain. I thank God that my childhood was extremely happy. My parents had a way of always making me feel loved, wanted, and content, even though they had lots of financial troubles, and I never had all the toys or cool clothes that I wanted. When I look back, I’m really impressed and amazed at how my parents were able to ‘make it work’.

I thank God that I still have my mother. She is strong-minded, whip-smart, and open to learning new things. She is everything that I hope to emulate, and I am proud to be her daughter. She has taught me how to be strong, and she has taught me that there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. Plus she is always on my side when life takes a nasty turn. I am very blessed to have such a role model in my life.

While my parents’ marriage wasn’t always smooth, what I do remember is that they were always there for each other. Despite obstacles that always seemed to be in their way, they persevered. That really inspires me, especially when there are so many families that are ‘broken’. (I dislike using that expression because it’s so negative.)

When I was growing up, nearly all my friends came from families where the parents were divorced, remarrying, or dating new people. My parents were one of the few ones who were still together, and our family was considered to be a ‘nuclear family’ – a rarity. One day, if I ever get married, I hope that I’m as fortunate!

Going back to my dad, he taught me that there ARE men out there who are honest, loving, and forgiving. He taught me that I shouldn’t settle for guys who treat me badly, abuse me, or play mind games.

My father gave me the prime example of how life should be lived. He didn’t just talk the talk. He walked the walk. Even if it was a tightrope, he walked the walk.

I hope to become such an impressive tightrope walker.


20 thoughts on “Smorgasbord Sundays: Father’s Day 2014

  1. Jess

    Aw, this is such a sweet tribute to your Dad. While I am sorry that he’s no longer with you, I’m happy for you that you have such wonderful memories of your time together. Sending you a big hug, Mary!

    1. Mary S. Post author

      Hey Jess!

      Yes, those happy memories keep replaying in my mind. At least they bring a smile to my face, and I’ll never forget what an incredible person he was!

  2. Melissa

    Such a handsome man and a lucky man to have a smart, talented, gorgeous daughter like you. Hugs and Happy Father’s Day to Daddies everywhere.

  3. Renée

    That’s a beautiful tribute to your dad. He was also quite handsome haha!
    I bet he would be very proud of you! x

    1. Mary S. Post author

      Hey Renee!

      Hehe, yeah, he was very handsome! Sometimes strangers would come up to me and tell me! 🙂

      Thank you so much for saying that he’d be proud of me. Your comment made my eyes water. That’s really kind of you!

  4. Traci

    A loving tribute from a loving daughter. This is my second Father’s Day without my own Dad. Its a hard time to get through but it gives me great joy in knowing that one day I’ll see him again in Heaven…its God’s promise. Hugs from one Daddy’s girl to another.

    1. Mary S. Post author

      Hey Traci!

      I’m sorry to hear that your father has also passed away. It’s definitely not easy, but it’s great that you have a positive attitude about seeing him again. That will take you far. Keep your chin up! *Hug*

  5. Kaz

    Mary, this is simply beautiful. I hope when my daughter looks back on her childhood she will think of myself and my husband as highly as you do your parents. They raised a beautiful, eloquent, loving daughter and I know wherever he is, your Dad would be beaming with pride.

    1. Mary S. Post author

      Hey Kaz!

      With such a kind-hearted and creative individual like you for a mom, I’m sure that your daughter will build many loving memories with you that she’ll replay in her mind to make herself smile. 🙂

      Thank you for leaving a comment and making me feel like more than a million bucks!

  6. floria

    Mary, thanks for sharing these private feelings and memories. You spoke from your heart and I almost could feel the depth of the moment you shared with your father in front of the tree, as I was there with you. One of my most beloved memories of my chilhood involves a public garden, my father, a couple of peacocks and lots of candy. He used to pick me up after school on Saturdays and take me there. I feel nostslgic about those moment, as, afterwards, things started to get worse. But I jealously save those moments in my heart and they make me feel better for a while.

    1. Mary S. Post author

      Hey Floria!

      It’s always hard for me to publicly share my sadness about the passing of my father, so I try to balance it by promoting the positive memories I have of him.

      There will be more posts about my father in the future, and I will share more photos of him, too.

      Thank you for opening up to me (and my readers) about your relationship with your dad. Although I feel your pain, it’s also comforting to know that we’re not alone, and that we can support each other.

    1. Mary S. Post author

      Hey Karyn!

      Yes, he was very handsome! 🙂 I remember that a lot of strangers would even tell me, “Your father is very good-looking!” Haha, not in a creepy way, but they were being nice.

  7. Patricia Casablanca

    In choosing which Smorgasbord Sunday to leave a comment in for your giveaway, I chose this one because it reminded me that I too was a “daddy’s girl”. I miss my father, who passed away in 2001 at 73. He did love me unconditionally & was always there for me & my children. I was a single parent, even when I was married, and if it wasn’t for my parents, I’m sure my life would have been even harder than it was. My parents were also the nuclear family type. They were together for over 35 years & gave me a basis on which to base my relationships with.
    What a beautiful tribute to your father! My sympathies on the loss of your father. I’m glad to have good memories of my dad just as you do. Simple, but oh so memorable!!

    1. Mary S. Post author

      Hey Patricia!

      First of all, thanks for entering my giveaway to celebrate my 4-year blogiversary! 🙂

      Second, I want to hug you. Thank you for opening up to me – it’s beautiful! You sound like such a strong and loving person who has been through a lot. I love how you didn’t give up, and that your attitude is positive. That really makes a huge difference! Wishing you all the best in the future. Stay strong! *Hug*


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