Shocking News Revealed!
Mary of Swatch And Learn isn’t the squeaky-clean, friendly beauty blogger she pretends to be!
In this post, we air out her dirty laundry and show you physical evidence where all signs point to her being guilty as charged!
We also share quotes from eye witnesses with special insight into Mary’s whereabouts and daily behaviour.
Yesterday, on Instagram, was the first time her true nature was revealed!
If you spot her running through the crowds frantically to get to the nearest nail-polish display, call the police! For your own safety, do not approach her – she is considered armed and dangerous, as she is almost never without nail polish!
(If you’re reading this, Mary, you’re “BUSTED”! Stop the act, and turn yourself into the nearest Polish Police station. You’ll probably only receive 12 years in Lacquer Prison without parole. It’s the right thing to do! Think of how you’ve psychologically affected all the nail polishes by locking them up in total darkness in your Helmer!)
We’re pleading for the general public to take this matter seriously.
While her blog posts are upbeat and sprinkled with humour, don’t let that fool you. She is an evil mastermind trying to convert normal civilians to the dark side of becoming nailphiles, one polish review at a time!
Don’t get sucked into the madness!
The Special Investigations Unit has been keeping track of Mary’s daily polishing behaviour and following up on every lead. It’s only a matter of time before we kick down her door and take away all her nail polishes.
“A few days each week, I can smell toxic fumes wafting from her room”, said a reliable source who asked to remain anonymous. “She says that she’s just painting her nails, but I know better. She decapitates the poor polishes!”
Another insider has confirmed this, saying, “I’ve seen her unscrew the caps like it didn’t cause any pain to the nail polish!” With a shaky voice, he continued, “It’s torture, and something must be done to stop her before it’s too late! How many more nail polishes must be harmed before the justice system takes action?”
Nail polishes cradle their firstborns in desperate attempts to shield them from Mary’s morbid desire to use their blood on her nails! And it’s all for vanity!
Base coats and top coats pray to a higher power that, one day, Mary will set them free, so they won’t have to be overworked on an almost-daily basis!
And now…continue reading this post to see our Special Investigations Unit’s physical evidence. With your cooperation and perseverance, perhaps justice will be served! Help us lock Mary away, so our nail polishes and their relatives can sleep soundly at night.
Exhibit A: Snow Bunny Nail Art
Using our specially devised scanning tool, the Special Investigations Unit was able to uncover the true dark side of her seemingly happy snow bunny nail art!
Note the polish blood-spatter pattern. It reveals that a blunt force was used to claim the polish’s life.
Original post with morbid tutorial here.
Exhibit B: Archie Comic Nails
Under the truth-revealing light, we detected the sarcastic expressions of the characters from the Archie comics.
Original post with morbid tutorial here.
Exhibit C: China Glaze Graffiti Glitter
“I couldn’t sleep with the lights off for many nights after I made this gory discovery!” A Canadian living downtown told reporters.
Original post with swatches and review here.
Exhibit D: OPI Lights of Emerald City
Even the coroner felt sick to his stomach when he discovered the poor fate of this innocent nail polish!
The cause of death was determined to be the result of ingesting square razor blades, as you can clearly see in the photo below.
Original post with swatches and review here.
Exhibit E: Skull Nail Art
You may want to shield your children’s eyes. This next photo is very graphic!
Mary, the sicko, forced the polish to consume large amounts of corrosive substances. The once-happy faces of young lacquers suffered this flesh-eating catastrophe!
Original post with morbid tutorial here.
And there you have it! We have all the evidence needed to lock her away for good!
It’s about time that the torture and atrocities of Mary’s evil ways were revealed for the world to see.
If you ignore these warnings and proceed to visit Swatch And Learn, do it at your own risk! She will continue to infect everyone with her nailphile illness and bring pain and suffering to innocent nail-polish lives, unless she is stopped!
This public announcement was put together by Cheshire Cat, the Chief Investigator.
Edit: Some of the nail polishes mentioned in this public announcement were given to Mary by PR. At this time, we are unable to confirm or deny if PR is in cahoots with Mary’s devious ways. We assure the public that our best investigators are hot on the trail!
Haha.. silly you! 😀 You’re fun! 😀
Gelic’ nail art recently posted: Purple Converse shoes nail art
Hey Gelic’ Nail Art!
Hehe, the Cheshire Cat is a sneaky fella! He pretended to be my friend all this time. And now he turned on me! 😉
lol heehe if they are great collections be armed then 🙂
still love that stuffed pink cat of yours
Hey Icequeen81!
Haha, I’ll definitely be armed with more nail ‘weapons’ than I can carry!
This is a fantastic exposé. Congratulations to Cheshire Cat for all his hard work. Mary, we’ll be watching you.
Hey Katherine!
*Gulp* I’ll have to be on my best behaviour to reduce further suspicion. Darn that Cheshire Cat! Hehe!
Haha Mary, you crack me up! I’m thankful Cheshire Cat made this post, or else I would have been in the dark about the very dark side of Swatch and Learn *shifty eyes*
Jenn H recently posted: A England St. George
Hey Jenn H!
Thanks for coming to the dark side! 😉 Heheh!
Haha!!! I loved this, too funny!! The pictures are awseome!!
Kelly
xoxo
Kelly recently posted: Rimmel Scandal Eyes Show Off Mascara; Review
Hey Kelly!
Glad you got a kick out of it. I had too much fun putting the post together!
Adorable. Carry on being you, please.
Hey Nic!
Will do. I can’t be anyone except for nail-polish-crazed me! 😉
OMG!! LOL This is too funny. Mary! If you’re reading this and need to make a run for it I’m 4 hours from Mexico and my trunk can hold a LOT of polish!! XD
Lizzy recently posted: Sinful Colors: Moss Have & Happy Ending
Hey Lizzy!
Remember the code we spoke about earlier on the phone. “The Moose sashays left at the pond at sundown.” 😉 See you at the spot, my lovely nailphile accomplice!
LOL! Loved it!
Hey The KnitMaster!
Glad it tickled your funny bone. 🙂 I had a lot of fun putting this post together, and the idea came to me on a whim. Love when that happens.
Haha, this was great. You’re so creative! I kind of wish there actually were polishes that looked like this, especially the lights of emerald city. That would be so cool.
Hey Allison!
Thank you so much! I really enjoyed writing this post and putting together the photos!
Yeah, if there were polishes like that, it would be cool. The dark side of polish! 😉
Lol this is such a cute and funny post. I imagine you furiously typing and laughing crazy like a villain while typing this. And YAY for Cheshire cat! I had a good chuckle and “awww” moment when I saw his pic. 😀
Frosso recently posted: Crystal Heart Valentines Mani
Hey Frosso!
Hehe, I actually was laughing a lot while typing fast when writing this post. Although, you’d probably have to ask my neighbours if I sounded like a villain. 😉 MWHAHAHAHAHA!
Cheshire Cat likes to play dress up a lot, doesn’t he? 🙂
LOL!
maria emma recently posted: GIVEAWAY! – Of life and lacquer!
Hey Maria Emma!
That’s exactly the reaction I wanted people to have after reading this post, so thank you! 😀 So happy you enjoyed it!
No, they must suffer! Their shiny, sparkly, metallic finish blood must be spilled to truly satisfy the hunger! Nothing so…so beautiful can go through this world without being punished! And we will never stop…NEVER! *insert horror scream*
Hey Thea!
The nail polishes in my Helmer just shivered together. 😉
LOL!!! Please continue being you. Nailfiles of the world, unite! XD
Julie Vernie recently posted: Carnaval, kawaii et Sunday Nail Blocage
Hey Julie Vernie!
Yes, take THAT, Cheshire Cat! 😉 You’ll never catch us all. We’re going to take over the world! MWHAHAHAHAH!